


Practice Safe Texts

by LadyTuesday



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Texts, M/M, Pre-Slash, Prompt Fill, Sexy Banter, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 11:42:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10513074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTuesday/pseuds/LadyTuesday
Summary: Prompt fill for the peeps on Facebook and Palominopup's prompt of a text message that just says "All I want is dick and wine".  Because I couldn't help myself.Dean receives a text from an unknown number that just says "All I want is dick and wine."  It would be rude not to respond, really.





	

**Author's Note:**

> When Palominopup prompted this on her Facebook page, I just couldn't help myself. Because reasons. I've never done a fic that was mostly texts before, but this was just too much fun to resist. Unbeta-ed so all mistakes are mine and, hopefully, minor. 
> 
> Links for photos used as references for Cas will be included in the end A/N.

Dean jumps a little when his phone buzzes on the console, just barely audible over the blare of his music. He grinds his teeth at the gridlock of traffic heading out of Los Angeles. Thank God he’s on his way home to Kansas; he’s got no idea how Sam can stand this damn city. He’s only been here for three days – taking a long weekend to come harass his baby brother now that he’s a big shot lawyer – and he already feels like his blood pressure has skyrocketed. Snatching his phone up off the console, he starts grousing about how Sam never fails to think of something important to tell him when he’s only just left to head home but furrows his brow at the unknown number that flashes up with a new message alert.

**_5:34pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – All I want is dick and wine._ **

Dean just stares. “Wow. Definitely not Sam.” Seeing as how traffic doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, he takes a second to type a quick response. While he’s typing, the phone vibrates in his hand and another two messages flashes up in quick succession.

**_5:36pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – I’m not kidding, Anna. After dealing with Gabriel’s special brand of humor all day, I expect both when I get back to LA._ **

**_5:37pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – The bottle of wine better be a big one and the other item should be just as impressive. Just passing Santa Clarita… meet at Mother Lode?_ **

Dean indulges in another series of surprised blinks before he deletes the message he’d typed in previously and starts a new one. He hesitates with his thumb over the send button but then figures what the hell, he doesn’t know this chick so no reason not to give his usual amount of sass.

**_5:38pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Wrong number, lady. But good luck on your quest for booze and cock._ **

The text whooshes away and Dean is actually a bit disappointed that several minutes go by with no response. His car is barely crawling forward in the traffic, so he’d hoped for a little entertainment even if it is just trading a few flirty texts with a stranger. Just as Dean starts to toss his phone back onto the dash, another alert pops up.

**_5:43pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – Oh. That is insanely embarrassing._ **

Dean chuckles loudly and then swipes his thumb over the screen to open the next reply that comes in.

**_5:44pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – Also, I’m not a lady. So probably doubly embarrassing._ **

Little butterflies take flight in Dean’s stomach. Okay, so _maybe_ he’d started to get the hint he isn’t entirely straight but he definitely hadn’t decided to actually _do_ something about it. But it’s totally harmless to flirt via text message with a stranger that he definitely won’t ever actually see in person, right? So there’s no reason he shouldn’t respond. It would be rude, actually, if he just ignored it.

**_5:47pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – No worries, man. Sorry about your rough day. Go ahead and get that dick. You deserve it._ **

His phone buzzes almost immediately this time.

**_5:47pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] –Thank you for your blanket approval of my shameless hunt for a one night stand. ;p Not usually my style, but after the day I’ve had …._ **

Dean bites down on the inside of his cheek, deciding how far to go with this. Flicking his eyes to and from the road as he moves with the traffic he thumbs out a response.

**_5:47pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Hey, do not knock the one nighter. If it weren’t for that, I’d never get laid. Not to brag, but I get laid a lot so …._ **

The next text has Dean laughing out loud again.

**_5:47pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – All you lack is modesty. Hope you can put your money where your mouth is._ **

Dean smirks. Whoever this dude is, Dean kinda digs the salty attitude. 

**_5:51pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Money is definitely not where I’d put in my mouth._ **

There. See what he does with that. 

**_5:54pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – From your tone, I gather you’re male._**

**_5:55pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Damn right._ **

**_5:55pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – I’m going to need photographic proof._ **

Okay, on the one hand, sending a picture to a stranger who now has his phone number is probably a bad idea. On the other hand … well, flirting with this dude has been more fun than any of the girls he’s had a crack at lately. So he plays it a bit safe.

**_5:57pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – You first._ **

**_5:57pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – What’s my incentive?_ **

Dean chuckles again and despite being a bit nervous about whether or not the guy will take the bait, he types back.

**_5:57pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – You’re on the hunt for a big “bottle of wine” aren’t you? I’ll make it worth it, promise._ **

A long few minutes go by before another alert comes in. It’s a photo alert. 

“Oh Jesus,” Dean mutters. He thumbs it open and swears. Loudly. 

The guy is fucking gorgeous. Dark hair ruffling in that I’ve Just Been Fucked Senseless way, an endless scruff of dark stubble across light golden skin trailing down a neck that just begs to be bitten, rising up out of a black dress shirt with the collar unbuttoned just above a red checked tie loose at his throat. He’s wearing aviators so Dean can’t tell what color his eyes are, but that face is definitely a face that could catapult Dean from “possibly also interested in men” into “hand me my pride flag” in a New York minute. In fact, just thinking about that face and its applications in regards to dick makes Dean’s jeans uncomfortably tight; it may be easier to make it worth this guy’s time than he thought.

**_6:03pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – In case you were wondering what the rest of me looks like, here’s from my last book jacket._ **

Another photo comes through, this one sepia toned and a more full body shot. The guy is in a form hugging t-shirt, low-slung jeans, and a motorcycle jacket, looking away from the camera. Before Dean can even stop to be self-conscious, he’s typing a quick reply.

**_6:05pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Wow. Pretty sure that just pushed my potential bisexuality into being firmly pro-dick._ **

**_6:05pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – Is that so? That has potential._ **

**_6:07pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – Didn’t you promise to make it worth my time?_ **

**_6:07pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Fair’s fair. Give me a minute to pull over._ **

Dean’s hands shake a bit on the steering wheel as he guides the car across a few lanes of traffic and into a wide shoulder on the far side of the road. When he picks up his phone again, he sees another message.

**_6:12pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – Texting while driving? Shame on you. Now you’re really going to have to convince me you’re a morally upright member of society._ **

**_6:13pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Doubt that’s what you’ll get out of what I’m about to send you._ **

**_6:13pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – Even better._ **

Dean smirks at the response and uses that expression as a selfie to show the guy that Dean’s got the goods as far as looks are concerned. The next photo he had planned is probably a bad idea but he does it anyway: Dean aims the camera on his phone down towards his lap where the bulge of his blossoming erection is unmistakable. He fires the photo off to the guy before he can think better of it.

**_6:15pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – [sent image photo001.jpg]_ **

**_6:16pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – That is definitely not the face of an upstanding citizen. I like it._ **

**_6:18pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – [sent image photo002.jpg]_ **

**_6:18pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Was this what you were looking for?_ **

Several minutes go by with Dean sitting on the side of the road, listening to cars rush past him. With each second that ticks away, Dean becomes more and more convinced that he did something incredibly stupid and potentially mortifying with a random stranger. He actually jumps when the next message alert goes off.

**_6:16pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – Where is the 785 area code? I don’t suppose you’re in the LA area, are you?_ **

**_6:18pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Kansas area code but I’m on my way out of LA right now. Why?_ **

**_6:18pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – Interested in being pro-dick in LA with me for another night?_ **

“Jesus Christ,” Dean mutters and he can’t type fast enough.

**_6:19pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – Address?_ **

A Google Maps reference pops up for what is, apparently, a gay bar in West Hollywood called Mother Lode.

**_6:20pm – [received from unknown caller (323) 790-4967] – I’ll be there in about forty-five minutes. Ask for Cas at the bar. They know me._ **

Dean wheels the Impala around into the opposite side of the freeway fast enough that he’s pretty sure he’s broken at least five laws. His pulse leaps as he heads back towards LA and his half-hard dick swells just a bit.

“Easy there, buddy,” he says to his cock. “We’ve got an hour drive ahead of us.”

He snaps a photo of the freeway sign that shows him heading back towards LA and sends it through with another message.

**_6:24pm – [sent by you, (785) 867-5309] – [sent image photo003.jpg] Be there in about an hour. You order the wine, I’ll bring the rest._ **

**Author's Note:**

> A/N - Okay, so I admit that the Cas of this fic was more Misha than Cas, but ... so what. If people are interested in the "dick" portion of the "dick and wine", I maybe could be persuaded to write the smut. :)
> 
> FYI - the phone number used for Cas is actually Misha's number (well, it's the one he posted on Twitter a few years ago; whether it's still his number, I haven't the faintest). 785 is the area code for Lawrence, Kansas,and I added 867-5309 as Dean's number because it made me giggle.
> 
> Photo references for Cas's selfies:  
> http://68.media.tumblr.com/253810863aa9d110690d152ba12d58e9/tumblr_inline_mqh7eiXnHO1qz4rgp.jpg
> 
> https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/5b/70/20/5b70202aebede3a9d1ee88cf6053d4a8.jpg


End file.
